Always happy for those little glimmers of hope

Well, another birthday has come and gone with no pregnancy or baby to show for the year. This birthday was filled with highs and lows, but the most important thing was that it ended on a high note.

I'm sorry that there haven't been much posts on my blog lately, but we have kind of been consumed with something the past couple of months and have spent a lot of time in preparation for an adoption that sadly didn't go through.

THE STORY:
In October when we had our last miscarriage, my cousin in Kansas reached out to me and so generously offered to be a surrogate for us. Knowing that we still had a couple of embryos left, she wanted to give us the option of carrying our child in hopes of giving us our dream of being parents. After some discussion with her doctor and my doctor, we realized that it just wasn't going to be in the cards for us. She then asked us if we would be open to adoption. Of course, we told her that we would if it was on our terms and private, not through an agency of any kind.
Long story short, she came to me about the possibility of an adoption. There was a young girl that she knew of that was 30 weeks pregnant and considering adoption. After several conversations with this girl, Ken and I made the decision to drop everything and travel to Kansas where she lived to meet with her, at her request. One long weekend in February, we drove the 1,000 miles there to spend about 3 1/2 hours with her over dinner discussing this baby, the adoption and our plan. The meeting went well, and we prepared to have a little baby in a few weeks. We came home and got busy with an attorney and buying up stuff for the nursery. I remained in contact daily with the birth mother and kept in touch with the "baby daddy" via text message every couple of days.
As the induction date got closer, it seemed that this girl was getting a little wishy washy about her decision, so long story short...we made the decision to walk away. It was just too much emotionally to get involved and her change her mind at the hospital after this baby was born.

Ultimately, it was our decision that we walk away, and although it was a tough one, we just knew that for self preservation, we needed to step back. It was one of the hardest decisions we had to make, but strangely enough, I feel that it was the right decision.

God has our hearts in the palm of his hands, and I know there is something better coming. And should we be blessed with another adoption possibility or even a miracle child of our own, we won't be sharing the news with anyone. It is just too much to have to have them go through our hurt too if something should fall apart.

Thank you for all the prayers and support, it means so much to both of us.

It's been a while...

Hi friends!
I know it has been a while, but with the holidays and my dad here visiting, and of course the move...I have just been turning every which way but loose!
So, it's a new year and I'm sure many of you have made your new years resolutions for 2012. I'm definitely making some, and praying that this year brings much more happiness than last year brought.
Dad has since gone back home to FL to start enjoying his retirement. I'm still hoping he will make the decision to move up here closer to us, but...it doesn't look like that is going to happen anytime soon.
Ken is still working that same job, although we had hoped that with the new year he could start with a new job where he is appreciated, respected and paid accordingly...if you know what I mean.
I'm still jobless, or as I like to say..."a temporary housewife". I did have my first interview in ages this week, but I don't feel very good about it. I am definitely out of practice when it comes to interviewing.
As for the new place, we are really liking it very much so far. We love our neighbors and can't wait for warmer weather so we can have some cook outs. It has been quite chilly here the past couple of days.
I'm slowly getting the house arranged and decorated the way that I would like to. I'm going to take some photos tomorrow though and upload them here. I have some areas that I am not completely sure about how to decorate and I would love some input.
We are looking/shopping around for some new living room furniture. We have seen a few pieced that we like, but not too fond of the price tags that come along with them. We can't really decide if we want a cloth fabric or leather. Although we don't have kids YET, we do have dogs, so this is something that we have to really consider. The only thing we do know for sure about is that we want something reclining.

Anyway...I know this is a quick and short post, but I have got to get productive today and get moving my toes cause they are freezing!

I pray that you all had a safe and fun Christmas and New Years. May 2012 bring us all our hopes and desires!