Trying to move on

One of my friends on Facebook had a status this morning that read:

"Pictures may speak a thousand words, but silence answers all the questions."

I've got to admit that probably a week ago I would have completely agreed with that, but this morning I feel completely different. Silence is bringing me nothing....but just silence. I've been trying to wrap my mind around what we have gone through and I honestly just feel like I am the brunt of a big fat joke. I'm having better moments than I did have two or three days ago, but it's times like this, when I am sitting around the apartment, alone...when I feel so lost and empty inside...LITERALLY! I just don't know how to pick myself up from this and move forward, and search for Higher Ground.

One thing I do know is that my heart and mind need to have a break from the journey of trying to conceive and the whole battle with infertility. How long that break will be is still a mystery to me. Right now I feel like it will be forever, but I'm also finding it hard to consider that I will never have the chance to hold a baby in my arms that belongs to me! I have, after all, been struggling with infertility my whole life an have been actively trying to conceive for over 15 years. Right now I am feeling completely defeated.

So...from this day forward, this blog isn't going to be just about trying to conceive...matter of fact, it might never come back around to trying to conceive again...who knows? This new blog is to help me keep my sanity. To get me back to some sort of functioning woman, wife, friend, daughter...that doesn't have her single vision only on the mission of trying to have a baby. My hope is that this blog will help me to put focus on other things. To share some laughter and some fun and some points of view. I think I still have some of that in me...I HOPE!

So, with that being said, for those of you who have followed my Journey to Conceive blog, I hope that you find me interesting enough to continue to follow me as I search for Higher Ground!

Oh, and please bare with me as I do some tweaking to this blog, and make it a little more "pretty" to look at!